The King: Eternal Monarch - A Happy Bittersweet Ending We Are All Half-Expecting

Spoiler alert! Those who have yet to see this KDrama, please stop reading now. 

Moving On 

As with everyone else, I cannot move on after watching the season finale. I am happy though that everyone got their happy ending. 

Lee Gon and Tae Eul who cannot marry each other under any circumstance, lived the life of a happy couple, one weekend at a time. Though we want the couple to tie the knot as the grand reveal, the writer's decision to have them off together in different eras each weekend is a beautiful option. For that, I am not complaining. Better than them not being together at all, forever. 

Here's my take on what happened to the rest of the major and minor characters that I have learned to love. I cheered them on from the start and I am glad that they got the exposure (and closure) they deserve in the last episode. 

No More Nightmares for Shinjae

Happy that Hyeon Min (Shinjae) from Corea no longer has to bear with nightmares that torment him all through childhood and adulthood, leaving him a miserable person, on top of the fact that he is secretly in love with Tae Eul, but can never be loved by her. If there's anyone in this drama that deserves a happier ending, it is Shinjae aka Hyeon Min. 

Secret Affair in the Palace 

So, I was right! Jo Yeong has a crush on the social media girl Seung Ah, as his counterpart Eunsob is in love with Nari. Jo Yeong having this discreet affair with Seung Ah in the palace is the cutest thing ever. 

Quite saddening though that he will never get to be reunited with Eunsob. It's kind of bittersweet for him to have the memories, while Eunsob never had any. It's cute though that Jo Yeong's siblings were named after Eunsob's. Awww, the guy must be missing his counterpart terribly, more than he would dare admit. 

The Caring Ok-Nam

It was never revealed what really happened to Ok-nam apart from that little story of her travel to Corea before the Great Korean war broke. The last episode didn't show much what had become of her, but it's nice to note that she knows this little secret of Lee Gon. And no matter he is not telling her the truth, Ok-nam knows what's going on. I think in some ways, it's sad and happy at the same time, like what Lee Gon said in the previous episode, "You must be very lonely to have this secret all by yourself." Awww, my heart breaks for her.  

Come on over to Facebook, Mamangnim, and let's gossip about your ward freely. Hahaha. 

Chief Park's Solitude

So now we all know why Chief Park keeps saying he needs to go and meet his "loneliness" or "solitude" or "sadness" from time to time. We get to witness how the good captain kept his word to an offender, to take care of the young offender's grandma and little sister. It doesn't make sense though that the chief had to sneak behind the missus. It was for a good cause sure, but he probably didn't know that the wife will find out eventually. Next time, don't use the credit card. Meh. 

So nice of Mrs. Park too to accept this little secret of the husband without much drama. Happy for them both. 

The Fabulous Prime Minister Seo Ryung

Sorry folks, but I laughed my ass out seeing the ever-ambitious and domineering Prime Minister Seo Ryung in prison. Fashionista no more, we see her in prison garb. But come on, whatever outfit our elegant Prime Minister dons make her look even more ravishing. Anyway, so that's what become of her when the parallel universe was altered after Lee Lim died. Shows that no matter what, she's one greedy corrupt to the bones woman. And to think that her ever-loyal assistant is now the warden. Love her or hate her, she maintained her strong presence up until the end.  

A Better Life for Luna

Luna's life did a complete turnaround when Lee Rim died. And I love it! I love how she became a good person. I always suspected that she's a good person turned bad because of circumstances beyond her control. I always knew that Tae Eul probably saw through her when she freed Luna to take care of her father while she embarked on a "do or die" adventure to help Lee Gon achieve justice.   

I am happy that Luna also became a law enforcer and that Seo Ryung's mom raised her to be a good daughter. Why did Prime Minister turn out bad? Ah, the old adage that parents may do their best to give the best to their children, yet evil children will always turn evil because they were born that way. I'm not sure. But I am glad Luna and Hyeong Min look like they have a future together. At least in the parallel universe, Shinjae's dream to be with Tae-Eul became a reality. Yay! 

I love the way that the writers salvaged what seemed to be a mind-boggling storyline in the first few episodes. It was confusing at first. But the final episode laid out everything beautifully. 

Everyone got their dose of happy endings, and who am I to disagree?

Wait, aren't we gonna see more of Jang-mi? 

Photo credits:

https://www.hellokpop.com/featured/the-king-eternal-monarch-episode-16-recap/

https://www.netflix.com/title/81260283

https://www.soompi.com/article/1406447wpp/the-king-eternal-monarch-ends-on-solid-ratings-for-finale 

https://data.ibtimes.sg

https://goggler.my/7-questions-from-the-king-eternal-monarch-that-still-need-answering/ 

What Happens if Elsa Face Off with Moana?

I wrote this during one of those really long commute sometime last December. When you travel for more than 4 hours daily you gotta find something creative to do. Otherwise, you may end up murdering your co-commuters out of boredom.  

Disclaimer: This blog is not meant to harm anyone from Disney nor discredit any of its wholesome movie characters. This blog is not meant to be read by anyone under 13 either. Parental guidance is advised. 

--------

In the vast sitting room of Arandelle, Elsa is seen contemplating.

Elsa: [talking to herself] What do I do now that Frozen 2 got that low rating in IMDB? What the flackers do these people want from us? I mean hello, it's not easy to beat the hell out of those  Ahtohallan spirits. Come on, people!

[Loud knock at the door]

Guard: [clears throat] Your Majesty, a girl named Moana from the Island of  Motunui, is here to see you.

Elsa: [thinks out loud] Who the fook is Moana?

Guard: [startled] I'm sorry, Your Majesty? I have no idea either who Moana is. Are you free to see her? 

Elsa: [regained her composure and spoke sweetly as she's expected to] Oh please let her in! 

[Moana enters, bowing to Queen Elsa]

Your highness, I am here to seek your help.

Elsa: Moana! I so Googled you and I found out that you have the power to talk to the waters. Why! We have so much in common! Come here! Sit down!

Moana: I am not here to chat with you. I am here to talk to you about my island.

Elsa: Excuse me! Why are we so bitchy already? What do you want?

Moana: Leave my island alone! We read your tweet and you're planning to freeze the Polynesian Islands! Is that because your movie flopped?!

Elsa: [now totally upset] Wait, what?! WTF! Frozen 2 is not a flop! Some people are just being...

Moana: [cutting Elsa off] You haven't been reading what people are writing on Reddit!

Elsa: People on Reddit are morons! Pretentious cowards hiding under pseudonyms! Their ratings don't count!

Moana: Just admit it, your movie flopped and you're not going to freeze the Polynesian islands!

Elsa: [laughs her brains out] Oh is that what you're thinking? Are you so obsessed with the first movie that you're stalking me online, even getting the help of the dark web to ruin my reputation?

Moana: [exasperated] You crazy bitch with your crazy eyes! Please! Get a life! I am here to talk to you nicely and here you are acting like a psycho!

Elsa: [being bipolar is difficult, she couldn't decide to be nice or to freeze Moana right there and then] Ok, Moana, let's start all over again. What can I do for you?

Moana: [being passive-aggressive isn't her thing so she went on a full beast mode] I am here to wage a war if you continue your plans of freezing my island.

Elsa: Hello. Haven't you been reading social media etiquette? You're not supposed to take everything seriously!

Moana: Etiquette my friggin ass! You aren't supposed to post stuff that harms the well being of islanders!

Elsa: Hahhaha! Do you guys have Twitter? Like seriously? Are you following me? No? Or are you just stalking me? Come on now! That's just a joke!

Moana: Joke or not, you're not supposed to post that!

Elsa: OK. Fine! Where's Maui?

Moana: Why do you need Maui?

Elsa: So I could freeze you both!

Moana: [throws her spear to the nearby sofa] The next thing that spear will hit is your head.

Elsa: Lemme just freeze that spear now!

[Maui suddenly appeared out of nowhere]

Maui: [acting cool and all] OK, What are you two bitches up to?

Moana: Elsa is going to freeze our island!

Maui: For real? Hey Elsa, nice to meet you! Love your DP, btw. So cool!

Elsa: Hey! Look what we have here! Another stalker!

Maui: Take back what you said or I will send tidal waves to Arendelle!

Elsa: [dials her phone] Anna? Anna! Please bring my meds here! There are two psychos here threatening my life!

Maui and Moana poised themselves for a battle when they heard a loud crash.

[Anna came in with Elsa's prescription meds on her hand, iPad on the other, with Sven in tow who is obviously watching something on his iPad]

[her eyes widened when she saw Moana and Maui] 

Anna: Daebak! Omo! Omo! Is that you Moana and Maui?! Daebak! 

[she tried to hide her excitement when she saw her sister's crazy eyes] 

Anna: Sorry sister, I was watching Crash Landing on YouTube and I couldn't get here in time so I asked Sven to bring the meds here instead but he too is hooked on CLY.

Elsa: [totally exasperated and glared at Anna and Sven. shifted her icy glare on Maui and Moana] OK, That's it! You two get out of my palace!

Moana and Maui: But we're not done with you!

Elsa: You either leave now or am going to tie you both and make you watch that CLY drama or whatever those two fools are watching until your eyes bleed!

Moana and Maui: Is it a good KPop drama?

Anna and Sven: Yessssssssss! We're hooked! Y'all gonna love Captain Ri!

Moana and Maui: You have popcorn and soda?

Anna: We also have kimchi!

Moana and Maui: Yay! Let's go!

Elsa: Wait! You bitches aren't leaving me just like that! 

Moana, Maui, Anna, and Sven: Oh, yes we can!

Elsa: [really furious] You leave me here, hell will freeze over!

Anna: Why don't you just follow Hyun Bin on Twitter while we watch? Find @withhyunbin! Ta ta, sister!

Elsa: [already busily searching for Hyun Bin on Twitter and when she finds it gleefully screamed and continued to browse through his tweets, forgetting about Moana,  the Polynesian Island, Maui, and her KDrama diehard sister, Anna]

We will continue next time.

Sad To Belong To Someone

So I'll live my life in a dream world,

For the rest of my days.

Just you and me walking hand in hand,

Is a wishful memory...

Oh, I guess it's all that it will ever be...

~ England Dan & John Ford

You ever liked someone who’s already taken (married, engaged, committed, etc.)? And you so like this person, you can only admire him from the distance, because he can never know that you like him. 

Have you ever liked someone so much you're dying to send him a message to say hello or just ask how his day is going, but you can't, because you just can't?

Have you ever liked someone so so much that his mere hug meant the world to you? 

Ang OA ko. Promise. At Frencheska Far ang peg ko according to Dani Hernandez author of Ang Maglandi Ay Di Biro. Promise, mahal ko na si Dani. Sobrang relate ako sa book niya.

I am too old to have crushes, but as one of my friends pointed out, it’s never too late to blush, gush or even have crushes... that as long as we have feelings we will always admire or crush on someone. 

And who knows this admiration might blossom into something real, tangible, or forever. Sigh.

But in my case, there's no way this is going anywhere. This crush lives on the other side of the planet and is very taken.

So what do I do?

I really have no idea. I guess, I will just sit here in my little corner of the universe and hope to the stars that this infatuation dies out soon.

I am too old for heartaches. 

Pero babalik daw sha ulet. 

Anubayan! 

#MeForever #UmasaTayo #MeHimala

Trouble App in the Palace (Fairy Tales Part III)

Fact: Snow White hates Apple.
Fact: Cinderella loves Pumpkins.
Fact: Snow White is a very competitive skank.
Fact: Cinderella is just one plain nasty psycho.

ACT 4, SCENE 1

One lazy humid afternoon, in the purple-ish den of the White's palace, Snowee and friend Cindee are busy browsing Gadget Geek Mag.

Cindee: So yesterday I bought iPhone 9S and I'm like, gawd, is this cheap or what?

Snowee: [In complete shock] You bought iPhone 9S?!!! I just barely learned how to use the stalker app in my 4G and there's 9S already?


Cindee: Hello. Where have you been?

Snowee: Excuse me. I gotta call Dad!

Cindee: You can use my phone.

Snowee: No. Thank you. I have my own  phone.

Cindee: Fine.[Slightly raises her eyebrow at Snow's sudden change of demeanor, whispers to self] I am not sure I'm liking the way Snow glances over. It's like she's possessed. She's got this crazy psycho Linda Blair's eyes. Uh-oh. I have to go.

[Cindee tiptoes out of the door, but Snowee catches her.]

Snowee: Cindee! Where are you going? I thought we're hanging out?!!

Cindee: Home. I need to feed my pet dragons! Yay!

Snowee: Would you like to  join us for dinner tomorrow?

Cindee: Yeah. Sure. [Smiling creepily as she enjoys this monologue in her head: What the hell? One moment she was this close to murdering me for having an iPhone 10, which is really not my fault that her dad is such a miser. Now she's all about dinner dinner? Hmm...]

Snowee: [Smiles broadly inadvertently showing her purple-ish gums] Guess who's coming for dinner?

Cindee: [I know it. Something is off] Ehrmm... Prince Charles?

Snowee: Helloooo! He's engaged!

Cindee: Ehrrmm... President Obama?

Snowee: Helloooo!!! And talk about change the whole night?! Nope! Nope!

Cindee: Okay, tell me. Who?!

Snowee: Steve!

Cindee: Steve Perry?!!!

Snowee: Steve Perry who?

Cindee: Never mind. Steve who?

Snowee: [Stutters] Steve...you know... th-th...the CEO of... you... know... the creator of you know... uhhhh-Apple...?

Cindee: [Laughs her booger out] Ho ho ho ho ! Steve Jobs! Girl, you gotta  be kidding me! All right. If you so require my presence tomorrow then I shall be here.

[Cindee glides gaily out of the scene.]

Snowee: [Furiously talks to herself, imitating Cindee's squeaky voice] If you so require my presence tomorrow. B*tch.  B*tch. B*tch. She didn't even flinch? She wasn't impressed at all? Who invites Steve over for a casual dinner? Doh?!! Who the b*tch she thinks she is?

Snowee stomps crazily out of the scene...






To be continued...



2011© mj

This blog was created 3 years ago. First posted in Multiply. So much has happened since then. 

The Other Side of Snow White ( Fairy Tales Part 2)

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
~ Maroon 5

So you think you know Snow White, huh? Were your little hearts broken when the wicked step-mother sent out the woodcutter to kill pretty girl Snow White in the forest? Do you remember ever getting scared when the wicked step-mom, disguised as a witch, poisoned her with an apple?

Touche!

ACT 2, SCENE 1

The lights are out. Everybody's sleeping, save for the girl who is pacing back and forth in front of the huge mirror.

SNOW WHITE: [Curious]
So tell me, Mirror. What exactly did you tell my step-mother?

MIRROR: [Pretends to be having a cough fit]
[To himself] Women,  why are they so fond of confrontations?
[To Snow White]  She is the most beautiful woman in the world.

SNOW WHITE: [Mildly upset]
You're freaking kidding me, right? She gets Botox every month. She gets a boob job every three months. And she even had her lips sculpted like Brangelina's! She's like, she spends millions of dollars to look like that cougar, Joan Collins. And you tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world? Tell me, what flavor of stupid are you?

MIRROR: [Begins to tremble in fear]
But Snow White... she sponsored my son to Harvard. I have to patronize her.

SNOW WHITE: [Very very upset]
Well, if that's the case...

[Runs to the kitchen to fetch something. Comes back after a few seconds]

SNOW WHITE: [Smiles sweetly while brandishing a dagger on Mirror's face]
How about I break your balls if you don't tell my step-mom that I am the most beautiful woman in the world?

MIRROR: [Suddenly experiences a schizophrenic attack]
Ma'am, yes ma'am! Right away, ma'am. Whatever you say you, you royal fierceness! You piece of magnificent star, shining above the human race. You flower of the Nile, blossoming every night. You...

SNOW WHITE: [Giggles]
Aww... you stop it now. No need to wax poetry, ya know. OK fine! I'll save the ball breaking some other time. Don't forget what you have to say the next time Step-Mom asks you.

MIRROR: [Pees in his pants] (Editor  - Do mirror wear pants?)
Yes, your royal fabulousness.

[Snow White licks Mirror before she goes out. Mirror shivers]

ACT 2, SCENE 2

Joan Collins, err, Wicked step-mom goes to the Mirror room, curtsies before the Mirror, clears her throat

STEP-MOM:
[Looking royally hot with the magenta cocktail ball gown designed by Vera Wang] Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the prettiest of them all?

MIRROR: [Coughs]
Your royal highness, I have something to tell you.

STEP-MOM: [Checks out her newly renovated tush]
Save your breath honey, I wanna hear the magic words first!

MIRROR: [Coughs deliriously]
But I really need to tell you something Madame.

STEP-MOM: [Stops checking her tush]
Mother F! Hello! The magic words first!

MIRROR: [Sighs heavily]
Cinderella is the prettiest girl in the world.

STEP-MOM: [Nose flaring]
Who the hell is Cinderella?

MIRROR: [Very confused]
I am so sorry, Madam. I don't do well under pressure. I get confused now and then, you know. Could you please ask me again?

STEP-MOM: [Smiles an eenie-weenie bit. Botox makes it difficult to smile wide] 
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the prettiest of them all?

MIRROR: [Totally depressed, contemplating suicide as he speaks]
Snow White is the prettiest girl in the whole wide world.

STEP-MOM: [Raises eyebrow a little. Botox makes it difficult to raise eyebrows]
You're not serious, are you?

MIRROR: [Resigned to his fate]
Mirrors do not tell a lie, your royal highness.

STEP-MOM: [Runs to a corner, curls up in a fetal position, and shouts profanities at the Mirror. After a few seconds, she runs back to the Mirror looking like an escapee from a nearby asylum]

You ungrateful piece of glass!!! I hate you!!!

[Step-mom throws Mirror out of her chamber. Mirror lands safely on the top of a garbage truck. He would soon be  reunited with the son who would finish doctor of philosophy in Forensic Aesthesiology from Harvard. Said son would marry the girl who would find the Mirror in a thrift store]

To be continued...

all rights reserved © mj navida 13may2010

http://valleylilytwist.tumblr.com/

Fairy Tales Are Full of S#^T (Part 1)

If happy ever after did exist
I would still be holding you like this
All those fairytales are full of shit
One more fuckin' love song I'll be sick
~ Maroon 5


Korean boss commissioned me to create playlets for the new fairy tale hand puppets the third graders will be using this semester. Demanded that I make the dialogues very interesting.

Yeah, sure Boss! Consider that done! 


ACT 1, SCENE 1

CINDERELLA checks herself in the MIRROR. SNOW WHITE eyes  her enviously. It's a known fact that they have history. 

[SLEEPING BEAUTY dozes off in the corner]

CINDERELLA: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the hottest of them all?

MIRROR: [Completely astounded at such atrocious language, chokes himself]
Water. I need water.

SNOW WHITE: [While giving Mirror a Heimlich Maneuver]
You know Cindee, that pale blue gown is so not you.

CINDERELLA: [Totally annoyed]
Really now. Coming from someone who hangs out with midgets, that faux haute couture critique is so ignored.

SNOW WHITE: [Equally annoyed]
My friends are dwarfs! Not midgets! And quit the attitude! I know you're sleeping with the palace guards!

CINDERELLA: [Sarcastically]
Oh you gossip monger! Like you don't have any filthy little secret, huh?!

SNOW WHITE: [Getting whiter by the minute with anger]
What secret?!!! You social climbing ho!!! You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

CINDERELLA: [Totally losing it]
Don't talk to me like that, Ms. Purity! The whole town knows your affair with the Wood Cutter. Shesshhh! Wood cuttah lovah!

[Before Snow White could strike Cinderella with a hair iron, Sleeping Beauty wakes up]

SLEEPING BEAUTY: [Yawns]
What's with the noise? Someone's trying to sleep here.

CINDERELLA: [Pissed]
Go back to sleep Aurora and don't ever wake up again!

SNOWHITE: [Completely amused now]
And while you're at it, gargle with Pinesol. The last prince who kissed you said your mouth reeks of sewage.

CINDERELLA & SNOW WHITE: [In total disgust]
Ewwwwwww!!!

SLEEPING BEAUTY: [Falls asleep again]

Commotion by the door, Rapunzel comes in, panting

RAPUNZEL: [Disheveled]
Ladies, can you please do my dreadlocks? I have a party to attend tonight and Mother Gothel is sick.

SNOW WHITE: [Eyes glitters with madness]
Why don't I give you a mohawk instead? You need an edgy look, babe.

CINDERELLA: [Excited]
Yeah! Your do is so like last century. Let's give her a Grace Jones look!

Rapunzel scrambles to her feet, runs for dear hair, shoving Princess Fiona aside by the doorway

PRINCESS FIONA: [Bewildered]
What happened to Rapunzel?

CINDERELLA: [Gets annoyed again at the sight of Fiona]
What do you want, Ogress?

FIONA: [Ignores Cinderella's acerbic tone]
I'm looking for my husband, Shrek?

SNOW WHITE: [Sarcastically]
Why search in my castle? Go to that Sher something something forest. He must be drinking with that drunkard Robin again.

CINDERELLA: [Chimes in merrily]
And everyone's wondering why Shrek's tummy is getting bigger? It can't be those fetus Shreks, can't it?

SNOW WHITE & CINDERELLA:
[Princesses roll on the floor laughing. Cinderella gives Snow White a high-five]

[Fiona exits silently, muttering something to herself]

FIONA: Bitches. At least my Shrek is a real man. I wonder if those two madwomen know their husbands are sleeping together? Flaming fags. Skanky hoes. What is this world coming to?

[Fiona shakes her head violently all the way to Sherwood forest, where she would catch Shrek making out with Robin Hood.]

THE END.

No kid is ever allowed to read this.

all rights reserved © mj navida 4 may 2010