Trouble App in the Palace (Fairy Tales Part III)

Fact: Snow White hates Apple.
Fact: Cinderella loves Pumpkins.
Fact: Snow White is a very competitive skank.
Fact: Cinderella is just one plain nasty psycho.

ACT 4, SCENE 1

One lazy humid afternoon, in the purple-ish den of the White's palace, Snowee and friend Cindee are busy browsing Gadget Geek Mag.

Cindee: So yesterday I bought iPhone 9S and I'm like, gawd, is this cheap or what?

Snowee: [In complete shock] You bought iPhone 9S?!!! I just barely learned how to use the stalker app in my 4G and there's 9S already?


Cindee: Hello. Where have you been?

Snowee: Excuse me. I gotta call Dad!

Cindee: You can use my phone.

Snowee: No. Thank you. I have my own  phone.

Cindee: Fine.[Slightly raises her eyebrow at Snow's sudden change of demeanor, whispers to self] I am not sure I'm liking the way Snow glances over. It's like she's possessed. She's got this crazy psycho Linda Blair's eyes. Uh-oh. I have to go.

[Cindee tiptoes out of the door, but Snowee catches her.]

Snowee: Cindee! Where are you going? I thought we're hanging out?!!

Cindee: Home. I need to feed my pet dragons! Yay!

Snowee: Would you like to  join us for dinner tomorrow?

Cindee: Yeah. Sure. [Smiling creepily as she enjoys this monologue in her head: What the hell? One moment she was this close to murdering me for having an iPhone 10, which is really not my fault that her dad is such a miser. Now she's all about dinner dinner? Hmm...]

Snowee: [Smiles broadly inadvertently showing her purple-ish gums] Guess who's coming for dinner?

Cindee: [I know it. Something is off] Ehrmm... Prince Charles?

Snowee: Helloooo! He's engaged!

Cindee: Ehrrmm... President Obama?

Snowee: Helloooo!!! And talk about change the whole night?! Nope! Nope!

Cindee: Okay, tell me. Who?!

Snowee: Steve!

Cindee: Steve Perry?!!!

Snowee: Steve Perry who?

Cindee: Never mind. Steve who?

Snowee: [Stutters] Steve...you know... th-th...the CEO of... you... know... the creator of you know... uhhhh-Apple...?

Cindee: [Laughs her booger out] Ho ho ho ho ! Steve Jobs! Girl, you gotta  be kidding me! All right. If you so require my presence tomorrow then I shall be here.

[Cindee glides gaily out of the scene.]

Snowee: [Furiously talks to herself, imitating Cindee's squeaky voice] If you so require my presence tomorrow. B*tch.  B*tch. B*tch. She didn't even flinch? She wasn't impressed at all? Who invites Steve over for a casual dinner? Doh?!! Who the b*tch she thinks she is?

Snowee stomps crazily out of the scene...






To be continued...



2011© mj

This blog was created 3 years ago. First posted in Multiply. So much has happened since then.