Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Most Likely To Be Buried Alive?

If there's one thing that amuses me these days, it should be Facebook.

Sure, some of the applications could be a bit cloying and puzzling at times, but the entertainment it provides is priceless. Not to mention that I get to meet really cool people from different corners of the world. I mean really awesome peeps who are not into nit-picking on how the government, media or just about everything is being handled by the appointed ones. This is a free world, yesiree, but puhhleeezzz, spare me the whining already. Got enough of that in the other sandboxes. I need to be entertained.

And crack up does Facebook to me. I could think of a million reason why I dig it:
  • I don't need an excuse or provocation to tackle, trout-slap, body slam, or toilet paper my friends. Heck, I could even throw Hillary Clinton to everyone without getting private messages like,
- What the hell did you do that for, beotch?
- Where's your sense of respect?
- What is wrong with you?
- You need to get professional help.
- You're a sad little person constantly seeking attention.
- I feel sorry for you.
  • I am allowed to shower my girl friends fab bags from Louis Vuitton, Balenciaga, Channel, Dior and Prada anytime without worrying about maxing out my Visa card. Hey, it's all free! Even the credit card is complimentary.
  • I am privileged to yack, lick, tango and cuddle with the Boyfriend openly, and no one thinks the Deity is a homicidal exhibitionist.
Plus I could do the same thing to close male friends and he would never think I am two-timing him.
  • I throw lame friends to Vampire friends all the time, just because I want to, and they're cool with it. They don't go sulking in a corner, curled up in a fetal position, screaming, "Deity, you numb nut twit, I am going to make you pay for that!"
  • I am allowed to expose well-tended multiple personalities without being regarded a basket case. I am a Mistress Vampire, a Triumphant Slayer, a Werewolf Howler and a Zombie Ninja. I attack my friends whenever and they don't go scurrying off for their lives.
  • I get to feed my Pet, Mojitos and chocolate pie, and it doesn't go running in the toilet, yelling profanities in my face for giving it alcohol and sweets at the same time.
  • I give my friends a keg of draft beer or a bottle of Dom Perignon anytime without having to organize a drink-all-you-can party.
I could go on and on and on. The point is, Facebook is a lifesaver for someone who gets bored easily like me. With thousands of fun new games and applications to do all the time, who needs to sulk and whine?

I am engrossed to the bones. I don't care what other people write about Facebook. No one's gonna keep me from getting my happy pills from the pals I have there.

Speaking of pals, someone voted yours truly as the friend Most Likely To Be Buried Alive, which got me thinking what in the world would make anyone think that I am probably going to be entombed screaming and kicking? And why would anyone want to bury me alive in the first place? I am pretty sure I don't resemble The Bride? Hello?!!! Ngork!

I have to find out who did that. I am soooo going to bitch-slap that friend without mercy!

And when I am done slapping, I swear to vote him/her as the friend Most Likely to Sleep with Marilyn Manson.

I feel better already.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Spread the Love

Velvet tagged me so I decided to play along. I guess this Love and Peace Meme is very much needed these days. The world is getting more and more disappointing, with all the lame things being said and done. It's just but befitting to step outside the circle, and throw dusts of affection here and there.

Here are the rules:

1. If you get tagged or not (and want to play along) , take some minutes to meditate about love and peace, pray for countries that are facing troubles, for those people you love and those you don’t.

2. Write a post with links to blogs that you think would like to participate

3. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

I am tagging the following:

Abad, G, StuperHeroine, Marissa, JoshTadena, Mary, Rhey, Manang Bambit, Rockin'Robbie, Mundong Noypi

and all those who wish to participate.

Let there be world peace.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Street

A blogging buddy in multiply is fond of posting Chicken blogs. To torment her, I would post a comment and ask that perennial question. She has yet to give me a sane answer, so I decided to amuse myself and quizzed the second graders.

The students replied in broken English and Korean, so for the sake of those who can't speak the language and for my own sake as well (as I don't get paid for any Korean translation) I am posting their answers in English, verbatim.

Me: Class, I have a question. The right answer will get 10 merit signatures. Are you ready?

Students: Ready!

Me: Why did the chicken cross the street?

Student 1: Because... because... her mother is on the other side?

Me: No!

Student 2: Because it wants to eat the other chicken?

Me: No!

Student 3: (Thinking long and hard) To poo?!!!

Me: Noooooooooooooo!!!

Student 3: (Tried again) To pee?!!!

Me: Nooooo!!! Chickens don't pee!

Student 3: (He's very persistent) Chicken pee! All animals pee!

Me: You're not allowed to answer anymore!

Student 4: Because it's cold?

Me: Noooooo!!! Come on guys, think! Think!

Student 5: Chicken will go home and eat! Chicken very hungry!!!

Me: Nooooo!!!

Student 6: Chicken scared?

Me: Why is the chicken scared?

Student 6: I don't know. You asked question.

Me: Gawd! Next answer!

Student 7: Chicken play with friends!

Me: Noooooo!!!

Students: Teacher what is right answer?

Me: I don't know. That's why I am asking the question. I was hoping you guys would help me.

Students: Why you ask question you answer don't know?

Me: (I am the Deity's complete lack of surprise) If we know the answer, do we have to ask?

Students: But you said right answer gets 10 points. Teacher liar!

Me: (Slowly entertaining the thought of pushing each one of them out of the window) Because I am the teacher! Because I say so. And I am not lying. I am really going to give 10 points! I promise!

Students: (Conferred among themselves) But teacher doesn't know the answer... How she give points?... Why is teacher like that?... She strange... Yes...teacher very strange...

Me: (Distressed) OK! Open your books on page 11. Let's read "Rainbows".

Student 2: Teacher, what is right answer? Why chicken cross street? Why?

Me: That's your homework!

Students: (Decided not to argue anymore and opened their books on page 11)

So much for self gratification... I should always remember that the rule of Karma applies even in classrooms.

Will someone please tell me the correct answer? I don't want to lose my job! Ngork.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Silence is Good

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

~ Mark Twain (1835-1910)

I am betting my month's salary that if Mr. Twain is to live in this generation, that quote above would read something as simple as like this: "S-T-F-U!"

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Hanging out with the Girls

Most of the middle school freshmen in our hagwon have been my students since they were in 4th grade so as a graduation gift, I decided to take them out to dinner.

After consuming a cauldron of Galbitang (stewed spicy beef ribs, highly recommended for those who are into spicy soup), they begged to go to the Norebang (literally "sing room", Korean version of karaoke) to show me their singing talent.

A mini video in the karaoke can be viewed here.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Poem of the Day

I love this poem dearly.

Our high school English teacher, Mrs. Potenciano, made us memorize this sonnet with a condition that we read it with a passion in our heart. I was too young then to recognize the true essence of passion, but this poem inspired me to start writing my own.

This is's selection of the day, an excellent choice and very appropriate for the occasion.

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways


How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Suck It Up or Kiss My Ass!

Some people can't just level. Some people can't own up their shit. Some people are so immersed in their fantasy world; they find it hard to scarf down truth even if it hits them right in the face. Oh well... who am I to be displeased with them? It's their call.

And I am not mad either that the kids took a shot of my butt.

You likey?

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Teacher Tell Me Tell Me What Happened

Last month, I posted about my students' daring me to dance in exchange for memorizing 10 new words each day.

I rehearsed for a week. I swear I did. I even secretly memorized the dance steps during yoga classes. During meditation sessions, my brain was trying to perfect the moves. You go to your happy place, I will gyrate in my head.

I even registered in youtube to download the showdown with the six year old from hell. Already I was waiting for a call from some Hollywood talent manager inviting me to audition for the remake of Chicago.

D-day came: I went to school ready for public hanging. I told Teacher K to turn on her PC (she had it password protected to keep the students from playing games online during break period) as I need to play the Tell Me video. Teacher K was like, HWWHAATT??? HWHHHYYY??? When I squealed the specifics, she told me to step outside as she needed to give the students a word or two.

When she was done, I was welcomed by the students with a glare -- that kind of glare that would make even Osama Bin Laden wet in his pants. I knew then that my hopes of replacing Renee Zellwegger had gone down the drain. For the rest of the week, none of them would talk to me. They completely went on a silent mode. Oh well, one can't please all the kids in the world. Ha! Like I cared.

Yeah I did. I still feel so bad to this day. It's like I betrayed them. They are now traumatized for life, and it's because of me.

On another note, I found this Tell Me video with Korean teachers doing the dance craze.

Should I thank Teacher K for saving my ass?