Saturday, June 23, 2007

Why Am I The Deity?

Very interesting question, this new online friend asked me tonight. "Why did you name your blog, The Wandering Deity?"

When we were very young, Mother used to tell me and my siblings stories about Gods and Goddesses, who roam around the world, punishing little boys and girls whenever they deem necessary, or giving supernatural powers to those who take afternoon naps. I know by now, that it's my mother's twisted version of the Greek mythology.

Anyway, those stories awakened my interest in supernaturals and immortals at a very young age. Then it dawned on me one day, that perhaps I was a Deity in my first life, and/or destined to be one. Does that sound vague? Let me tell you this.

When I was a little girl (five or six I think, not sure anymore), I wanted to be a singer. I always sang along to any Carpenter's songs, but mother was quick enough to point out that I sang out of tune, she being, my number one critic since the day I was born.

But you see, I was never that type of person who gives up easily.

In fifth grade, a wonderful opportunity came. A classmate invited me and other friends to join the church choir. She thought that because I have such a high-pitched voice, I'd be good for the alto part. I thought of it as my chance to finally shine. I remember looking forward to each choir rehearsal and the day that I'd be singing "The Messiah" like an angel.

However, after two weeks of singing in the church, I was told by the choir vocal teacher that I needed to practice more and that I could only sing if there's an absentee member... which never happened.

My dream of a singing career died that day.

Imagine how cool would it be, if anyone did encourage my singing talent. People would be calling me Pop Deity by now. How mesmerizing it would be to see a giant billboard poster, with neon lights glowing underneath the print, "The Rock Deity In Concert" . Coolness no?!

Forgetting my singing career, I focused on becoming a nun.

Practicing my act as a holy apparition one day, mother pleasantly disclosed that "malditas" (Filipino for bad little girls) will never be a nun. That was the second time she killed my future*.

I thought it would be overwhelming to hear people calling me "Sister Deity" or "Mother Deity Superior" someday. Then when I die and become a saint, people would be praying to my pagan statue, where under my perfectly sculpted feet, Saint Mary Deity, is engraved.

I dismissed the dream of becoming St. Mary Deity. And I certainly don't have any passion for it anymore. I am too old to be a novice. I don't think I'd like donning a habit anyway. It's so monotonous. And I have to wear the same outfit everyday, for the rest of my life? I'd die of boredom, am pretty sure. Also, I don't think the mother superiors would like it that I call my rosary, bling-bling. "Sister, have you seen my bling-bling? I left it on the altar."

Having my dreams castrated at an early age, I was almost willing to give up on my Deity identity pursuit.

As fate would have it, came this chance to write for an ESL Teachers' website. I needed an alias and friend O, thought Wandering Deity fits me like a glove since I am known among friends to possess a "wandering brain" (lutang na utak)-- always bored, never focusing/settling on one thing, forever trekking to that Never Heard of Land, where Deities like me roam around freely without being regarded as an escapee from a mental asylum.

Naturalmente, when I started this blog on the 2nd of February 2005, I used the same monicker. And let it be known that I am going to be The Deity till the day I cease to exist... online.

Anyone got a problem with that, now is the time to speak!

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*In fairness to mother, she was the one who insisted that I take BSEducation back in college, which, needless to say, is my bread and butter these days. See? Mother knows best... but she is yet to find out that I call myself the Wandering Deity. Ha!