Pinesol Syrup Anyone?

My room mate prepared pancakes for breakfast today but since I opt to have heavy breakfast, I ate rice with the leftover viands. I decided to bring one pancake to the class and thought of having it later on.

Came break period around 5pm, I put out the tupperware container where I kept the pancake then went to the ladies room to wash my hands. When I went back to the classroom, I saw four heads already devouring what was supposed to be my snack. I told them that I was really hungry but they seemed to ignore my comment and proceeded to tell me that the pancake was really yummy and if teacher could please bring more tomorrow? Arrgghhh!!!

I opened the windows and thought that I could easily shove the four of them out of it. But then again, I tried to regain my composure and evade the ugly scene already playing in my head. I think I saw the four of them flying out in the open space, as I giggle to death.

Too bad everything just happened within my lurid imagination. None of it could ever exist in reality. I heard that prisons here in Korea are really pretty bad. Wait, I am not sure if I will stay long in the prison for annihilating kids. Perhaps I would be electrocuted to death right away. Sad. I won't enjoy prison life anyway. I think.

Of course, I am going to bring more pancakes tomorrow. I am thinking of spraying Pinesol on it. I wonder if my students will notice the difference. Should I tell them that it's a homemade syrup? Or shall I cajole them into swallowing one big pancake in one gulp and watch them choke to death?

So much for the hysteria. It's just a pancake for crying out loud.

I will try not to eat tomorrow.

One Leap to Manhood

Yesterday, 26 March 2006, my only child, Rue graduated from grade school. I promised him some eons ago that mommy will be home for his graduation. Sadly though I didn't fulfill my pledge. I wasn't able to go home for a lot of reasons. Suffice to say that my son wasn't too happy when he heard of this very unfortunate news.

Weeks before the commencement date, we had another heart-wrenching conversation. As I was trying to outline my justfication for not making it on his graduation day, he told me that he wants me home because he misses me badly. Little did he know that I miss him more than ever. Just like that and I broke down and cried myself to death before I eventually drifted to sleep.

Yesterday, as witnessed in the pictures that my sister sent me, my son didn't look too happy in his toga. It broke my heart again that I was not there to pin his loyalty award medal. It saddened me to think that it will be a while before we will be together again. It pained me that it will be several days and months before we would enjoy each other's company again. It will be a while I know, but Rue and I will be together again... for good. That much I know. Just the thought of it makes me happy already.

Now as I reflect on the fact that my son is going to highschool in two months time, I can't help but panic. Not that I worry about his school fees or anything. It's beyond that. I know that going through this pubescent period would be very difficult for someone whose only parent is so far away from him. I try not to worry as I know that God will always be there to guide the two of us. There are some moments though that I can't help but wonder what would happen next, now that he's going to be a teen-ager soon.

Grade school graduation for now. Before I knew it, he will be off to baccalaureate mass. After that, wedding then baptismal of my first grandchild.

Accckk... Isn't it too soon to worry?

The Bad Teacher

Today is my last day in the Hagwon. The Wonjangnim told me last Monday that they need someone to work fulltime, which I can not, for obvious reasons. It was fine with me. I know that the Great Provider will give me another job next week. That I never doubt.

School dragged like a boring movie. I wanted to pull the string of time to wind it at 5:40 pm so that I can just go to the movies and watch "Blackout".

I went to the Hagwon an hour and a half before classes start. I played with the kids for the last time.

Soon, I got tired playing with the kids. I decided to teach them the running man and Roger Rabbit. The kids followed suit and we just danced our spirits away.

Before we knew it, standing there by the door, in all his splendor, was the Wonjang. He asked me to fix the tables and get ready for my class. I knew it. Now he doesn't regret firing me. Am so worth it. HAHAHHAHAH! I just don't give a fucking care!

I said goodbye to my first class, composed of snotty 10 year olds. One almost cried. I gave them my celphone number so that they can buzz me whenever they feel like talking to me. That comforted them a bit.

One of the girls, Emily, gave me a friendship ring. So sweet of her. She told me that she will miss me because am the only teacher who played hula with them. Haha! Talk about second childhood. If only Emily knew.

My second and third classes went fairly well. No emotional goodbyes. Nothing. They are bunch of retards anyway.

The last class was something else. My energy, having been consumed earlier with all those games and dancing, has dwindled around 5:00 pm. I was not in the mood to teach anymore. I was not even in the mood to tell these kids that it's our last day together. Heck, I don't care anymore if they get the shock of their lives when they meet the new teacher next week.

I decided to teach them how to curse in English. Oh no, I did not mean to. I swear, I did not start it.

Paul, the perennial late comer, started it all. He asked me what "damn you" means. I explained. Soon, he was asking me what "motherfucker", "shithead", "fuck you" and a lot other curses I never heard of before. I was shocked! I don't really curse, you know. Except only when I am upset.

I asked him where he learned all these words. Apparently, he's been watching too much WWF, that wrestling show. Gosh! It has to stop! Now am worried for my son. He likes watching it too.

I told Paul that these are really mean words and that he should never never say any of it. He just ignored me. He wrote down all the words and started to recite them aloud. I wanted to kick him in the shin but thought better about it. I should have not entertained his questions at all.

I gave them something to do. That made Paul busy for quite some time. Then Noel, the silent one, innocently told me that their American neighbor, whenever he gets drunk, would yell: "Fuck you Koreans!" I wanted to roll on the floor laughing. I tried to keep a straight face though (which was so damn hard to do). Noel seemed so ignorant about the whole thing. Paul started to explain something to him in Korean. I told Paul to shut up! Really! This kid is a different case of ADHD. I am just so glad to be out of this school.

I changed the topic, but Noel prodded me to teach him what to say back to this neighbor. All right, I gave in. I told him that the next time he hears their American neighbor curse them, he should yell back: "Fuck loser! Get outta here!" Noel dutifully wrote it down. I don't hate Americans, okay?

Do I hear Pink Floyd's The Wall in the background?

"We don’t need no education.
We don’t need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all it’s just another brick in the wall..."

I'm a baaaaaaaaaaaad baaaaaaaaaad teacher....

A Little Something About Me

Born some summer years ago, The Wandering Deity is your classic example of a lady with multiple moods, mostly wandering moods, hence, the moniker.

After obtaining her bachelor’s degree in Secondary Education (with major in English), the Wandering Deity opted to join the dog eat dog race of the corporate world. For almost 12 years, she held various positions in the Human Resources, Publications, Training, Legal, and Administrative Management divisions of several multinational firms in Makati City, Philippines.

An adventurous kindred that she is, the monotonous life of corporate realm made her realize that she is missing some big challenges in life- a break actually. Thus, upon getting an invitation from a dear friend to teach in Korea, the Deity packed her bag, abandoned her desire to continue the climb to the corporate ladder and conquered Korea with gusto.

And boy oh boy, was it fun! The challenge of the academic life, the one thing that she has forsaken all these years hit her with such impact that on her first few months here in Korea, she could barely breathe to cope with the thrill of actually practicing what she had learned back in college.

But then again, despite the academic marathon, the nagging pursuit for something else persisted- the passion for beautiful things and everything nice. It's a great thing that Korea has such an abundant supply of boutiques and malls and markets where you can grab fabulous shrilly stuff in such discounted prices (only if you know how to haggle well).

The Deity, being a fashion enthusiast herself since time immemorial finds the Korea shopping experience essentially exhilarating, as such she was enticed to share such empiricism to fulfill another passion-writing.

As such, the Deity, from this day onward, will write just about anything under the sun that amuses her, not just about the latest vogue though, mind you.

As her quest for the authentic meaning of life and genuine leather earring is yet to be satiated, she will take time browsing all shopping corners around metro Korea and at the same time share pieces of rambling about anything: fashion to boys/girls; skincare to heartaches; beauty tips to dating; and just about the classic human confusions.