Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Season to be Jolly...


Two days from now, Christians all over the world will be celebrating, once again, the birth of Christ.

I went to the mall the other day and saw excited children pointing out their preferred toys; some are wailing, some are pleading; the rest, simply demanding.

Trees decorated with sparkling lights and pretty ornaments, mistletoes, evergreen bouquets, candy canes -- banal sights to remind us that the season of loving, giving and sharing is here again.

Scenes that remind me of the Christmases back home. Days before Christmas, my son and I would carefully plan our trip to the already packed department stores. In a war like strategy that would make Napoleon wet his pants, we determine which route is the fastest and least crowded. We conquer the war zone with firm valor to bring home the best gift for our loved ones. And not to mention, the best outfit for the budding fashion au courant.

It's been three Christmases since I last had the chance to go Christmas malling with my son. It seemed forever. Tonight, I got to talk to him and the folks, and he told me what he got for himself during this morning trip to the stores. With no mommy to escort him around, he got the grandma to assist him with the delicate business of choosing which pair of shoes is the best.

Son confessed that shopping wasn't much fun because mom's not there.

Christmas is here... and it makes me want to cry.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Will Smith is the Legend


Yesterday, as planned, I had the irritating tooth fixed, a haircut and at the last minute, decided to give CGV Yongsan, my favorite place in the whole Korea, a visit. I saw a crowd gathered in the cinema lobby so I squeezed myself towards the center and was thrilled that there's an on-going promo for I Am Legend . I thought it was ultra cool since it's gonna be on Imax, a CGV member exclusive. They are giving away only TEN tickets. Good thing I packed enough guts to come up on stage and volunteer for public humiliation.

To make the story short, I won the most coveted ticket. Not considering the fact that I rock; I am a huge Will Smith fan and any follower of his should be able to name at least 3 of his well-known flicks shown in Korea for the past two years. I lied about watching Pursuit of Happyness though, which didn't matter much anyway; I got the answers correctly, albeit not in order, and I got to see the movie for free. Yippers!!!

The movie is legitimately entertaining and thought provoking. From the scale of 1 to 10, I give it an undecided 7. Although I immensely enjoyed seeing hot-in-sweatsuit-gun-yielding Smith, I still think there should be something more. Maybe because I was expecting for more action packed scenes? Or was it the ending? Was I asking too much for a free movie?

Smith is literally the only actor for the most part of the film (if you're not going to count the dog and the creepy creatures as actors). Yet, he totally carried the entire epic all by himself.

In a nutshell, "I am Legend" is a must see this coming holidays. It will make you think what life would be like without your loved ones...

Will you survive when you're the only one left on the face of the planet?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

You Pretty Flower Want?


My once upon a time beautiful peppermint plant is dying. What's left of it is a single stem currently hanging on to its dear life. I decided to drop by the flower shop to get some plant vitamins hoping that a tube of nutrients would revive the poor herb.

I told the shop manager, an Ajumma (old Korean lady) what I needed. She asked what particular plant I am going to use it for. She must have forgotten that I bought the peppermint herb from her two months ago. When I was done explaining to her in Korean what kind of herb I have, Ajumma told me that I should not expect the plant to survive the winter.

In a matter-of-fact tone, I informed her that I plan to revive my plant by hook or by crook. Ajumma simply shrugged her shoulders and told me sympathetically that what I need is a miracle, not vitamins.

Subsequently, she insisted I buy a winter plant instead. A poinsettia perhaps? I politely clued in that poinsettias will also die in a few months. If I am to buy a new one, I'll go for a dainty charming plant that would last a longer time. Something that I could take care for ages. Yeah, something like that. I am almost convinced that I could grow a garden out of a single pot of flower.

"Araso." (Understood.)

"Neoneun yepon kot seul wonheyo?" (You pretty flower want?)

"Neh, putakheyo." (Yes, please.)

I was excited to see what she'd get for me...

She took a plastic version of the poinsettia from the stand and delightedly presented the aesthetically crafted Christmas ornament. Sweet brassy permed Ajumma even added that she will give me a discount for a purchase of two.

Gawd!!!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Catching Up with Tags

I am sooo stodgy these days I can't bring myself to do anything arousing like swimming across the Pacific Ocean or climbing Mt. Everest. Aside from observing Ajummas (old Korean women) sigh and giggle whenever the hot young Indian yoga instructor flex his biceps on weekends, there's nothing really entertaining with my life these days that is worth sharing.

On another note, what could be more exciting than getting TAGGED! As promised, here goes!

Tag by Stuper Heroine
The Rules:

1.Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2.Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3.Pick your month of birth.
4.Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5.Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

APRIL: Active and dynamic (very true). Decisive and hasty but tends to regret (amen!). Attractive and affectionate to oneself (of course!!). Strong mentality (I doubt this one). Loves attention (I do not!). Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see. (I know I am hot! Hello!)

As you all noticed, I highlighted the whole description. Need I say more?

Also, I did not copy paste the trait for the twelve months. You can visit Stuper's blogsite and copy from there.

I am tagging everyone who wants to do this. Just do it for your soul's sake and let me know!

Tag by Abad

1. How long have you been blogging?
Since February 2, 2005

2. What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?

I got bored writing my daily escapades on a diary. I thought it would be fun to share with the whole world what's going on with my life here in Korea, no matter how arid some of the stuff that I do most of the times.

Seriously, I decided to blog because I want to. You got any problem with that?

Mentor? Don't have any. Would you like to apply? Sure could use some help here.

3. Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?

Used to do this for fun and still do, mind you. It's my little way of biding time and homesickness away. I am also recording my life in Korea for my future grandchildren to ponder on. Who knows, my future offsprings might face a life altering decision and by reading my blogs, their whole perspective will be changed. (Tell me when to snap back to reality)

Lastly, if blogging will bring in more moolah, who am I to say no?

4. Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.

a. I get to meet cool people, whose line of thinking is parallel with mine. I like reading interesting stuff about other souls; I feel like I am not alone in this (whatever you call this).

b. Being online allows me to be someone or something that I am not. Go figure. Use your imagination. Guess.

c. I learn a lot of stuff online -- trivial things that we don't just get from going to school from the age of 3.

5. Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE within the online world.

a. People who leave harsh comments. Internet bullies who pick on other people's blogs. They make me sad.

b. I hate the temporary friendship. Sure you get to meet nice people online but that doesn't guarantee long term friendship or any relationship for that matter. Sometimes when you least expect it they just vanish... with no trail behind... as if they never existed at all. Makes you wonder if they are just a part of your hallucinations.

c. Computer jargons. They are these so called tweaks, twits or twats or something that I wanna do on my blog site but can't seem to work out. These applications always confuse me. Makes me feel like leaving the whole blogging thing to younger people.

There, I did it!

As I said, I am not tagging anyone in particular. Just do it!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Poshintang

Last Friday, I was getting ready for school when my burly neighbor decided to be nice and share with me a special soup. He said it is called Poshintang. I have heard of that soup before but never had one yet. And since I am used to McDo these days, a homemade meal sounded like manna from heaven. I thanked the good samaritan of a neighbor and went to consume the soup like it's my last meal on earth.

During the 5:30 class, the topic was about healthy food. I mentioned about the Poshintang soup. The class giggled like I just told them the funniest joke on earth. They asked what it tasted like. I told them that it's a pork soup, really spicy but very very delicious. They went nuts when I said that.

Their reaction totally puzzled me so I asked what was going on. One student told me that Poshintang is dog soup.

Jeez.

Much as I want to vomit right there and then, I tried to hold my poise and told the class that I really thought it was yummy. They just laughed in response.

I know... I know... for some people this Korean tradition may be a bit harsh. But to Koreans, Poshintang is a part of their culture -- a custom they have inherited from their forefathers. And who am I to say no to free meal? Besides, I have tried live baby octopus, silk worms and fried grasshopper before. I am not really disgusted anymore.

Still...

This afternoon, I saw the neighbor in the corridor and confronted him slyly about the dog soup that he fed me with unwillingly. He was like: You like it? Yummy? Want some more?

I ran back to my room before he hands me another bowl. No more soup from the neighbors from this day onward.

By the way, picture on the right is the whiny labrador who lives across the apartment. He keeps me up at nights. Oh, the total torture of hearing him howl and growl in the middle of the night. He totally threw his nose up in the air when he saw me taking that picture. One of these days, I am going to make a Poshintang out of him.

I swear.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's Bye Bye Miss CSI


When Sara Sidle was abducted by the Miniature Killer on the season 7 finale of CSI, speculations crawled on the CSI fanland that she's saying goodbye for good.

But she was rescued at the beginning of Season 8, and we (oh yes, already I feel the the kinship among these CSI die-hards) thought that Sara's staying for good. Yay!

However, when this article on EW came out, doubts were put to rest.

Jorja Fox, the actor portraying Sara on the coolest forensic show on earth revelead:
There are so many things I want to do! Some are personal. Some are professional. And I really need to do some of them before I get too old.... It's a really intense place to work. A lot of the stories [on the show] do end sadly and badly. That's been one of the things I've struggled with — the violence. I'm not saying I'll never do another violent [project], because I'm sure that I'll be back in that world someday, but it's really good for me to take a break from it.

Oh well, some people got to do what they have to do. Much as we want Sara to stay and be married to Grissom, I guess it's about time to just let her go and wish her luck.

I want to cry already.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

On Narcissism

I often wonder whether the Elite class enjoys hour long of nightly conference chat online to concoct an elaborate scheme of making my life horrible, or it's simply their current "mission-vision" thing-y.

Just when I would start thinking that everything is going on smoothly, that the students are tired of making my life hell-ish, these future rulers of South Korea always come up with something that would eventually give me panic attacks.

Me: (On Myths of Flowers)... When he saw his reflection in the water, he fell in love with it. He could not leave and he spent the rest of his life by the spring admiring his own reflection. Narcissus's body eventually turned into a flower...

Smart Ass 1: Teacher, is that true?

Me: No class, this is mythology. I explained earlier before we started reading this story. Do you remember?

SA 3: Teacher, my mommy always look in the mirror. Why she no change into flower?

Me: This is just mythology. A myth. It doesn't apply to common people like your mom.

SA 3: Teacher, my mother not common people!

Me: Whatever! Are there any questions? A real question perhaps?

SA 4: Teacher, teacher, my mommy also always look in the mirror. Many hours looking in the mirror... why not change to flower?

SAs: (All talking in English and Korean at the same time) Yeah, my mommy too. Always make up and spend many hours in the mirror. No change!

Me: (Already jaded knowing that this nonsense tete-a-tete could go on forever if I don't say something nice.) Alright guys. Do you really want your moms to turn into flowers?

SAs: Yes teacher! Me want mommy turn to flower! Yay!

Me: Next time you see your moms looking in the mirror, please tie her to a chair and make sure she looks at herself all day long. Stand by and watch if she turns into a flower. Then you let me know.

(Totally amused with myself upon saying this. I'm smarting already. I know that).

SA 1: Teacher, mommy will get angry!

SA 2: Yes teacher! Who cook food?!!

Me: (Hyperventilating) Then you go dine out! Ha ha ha!

SA 5: (The cruelest of 'em all) Teacher, I do that. I tie mom to the chair. If mom gets angry, I say teacher said. OK?

Me: (Talking to her imaginary friend) Is there a life in the outer space? Are aliens true? I wish they abduct me now.

Patience is a virtue I have to master.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

CSI Miami Crack

I am a CSI junkie. Oh yeah. Let the whole world know about it. I spent hours and hours online looking up for CSI (Las Vegas, Miami and NY) episodes that I missed. I have also acquired massive stiff neck, not to mention, ulcers, from taking the never-ending CSI quiz on Facebook, hoping to get that elusive "Certified Agent" title one day.

And one of my favorite CSI character is Horatio Caine, played by David Carusso. The guy's not a hunk (gawd, he's not even drop-dead gorgeous) but his signature sunglasses and one-liners never cease to amuse me.

Take a look.



Then just a few days ago, I saw an old episode of David Letterman with Jim Carrey as the main guest. Apparently Jim loves CSI Miami too.

Here's his take.



Now, that's a reason for you to start watching CSI Miami.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Till Fashion Do Us Apart...

Matching outfit is a trend here in Korea and I'm guessing anywhere in the world. Couples dressed alike are very amusing to look at, but sometimes it can get annoying to a point that I very much like to push both of them onto subway tracks.

Take a good look at this couple, one of the many twin-fashioned partners that I chase around in supermarkets (not to mention malls, museums, palaces and subway stations) during bored moments.

By the way, the Ajumma (old Korean woman) on the left side has nothing to do with the lovers.

Stripes must be just the season's in thing. Hmmmm...

The Deity's New Abode

Inspired by the heroic departure of StuperHeroine, I am likewise abandoning my blogspirit account and moving to this new home.

I am going to move all my blogspirit entries here as soon as I find enough time to do so.

I'll see you guys around.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Meet the First Graders

My boss told me to take some pictures of the first graders for the school's website. I asked the kids to sit still and pose nicely.

As soon as I said, "Cheese", they decided to do their thing-y.

The First Graders (2)

Boy in Blue: Here's your crown, Chuckie!
Girl in Black: I'll poke your eyes, you, you pretentious Princess!
Girl in Yellow: I can't pull her hair. It's braided.
Boy in Green: The toy looks nice on your head, Princess.
Girl in Green: Oh please people. I'm too pretty for you all.

The First Graders (3)

GIB: I'll pull your remaining teeth with teacher's pen!
BIB: Me so scared!
GIY: Gosh! I'm so hot!
GIG: This is boring...
BIG: I should be in the center! I'm the Princess!

The First Graders (4)

GIB: Die biatch!
GIP: Trust me sister, I eat pens for lunch!
BIB: I'm outta here! You people are freaks!
GIY: No close up please!
BIG: Come on, let's have a make-over.
GIG: I so totally don't need it.

Guess, the teacher's a bad influence huh?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Choosing Students

My boss finally decided to hire a new foreign teacher. Thank goodness. Not complaining here but handling all 150 students in a week, for 6 hours everyday, is probably like having sex with an NFL team on a weekly basis. (I dunno why I made that analogy. I just thought of that.) I am terribly exhausted at the end of each class and often wonder if I'd be able to work again the following day.

And since I can now consider myself a senior teacher, I have the option of choosing which class to handle for the homeroom.

Should I choose the parrot like students?

Me: Class, repeat after me.

Class: Class, repeat after me.

Me: Read from the top.

Class: Read from the top.

Or the smart assess who never fail to give me a migraine.

Me: (Reading from the book) And Herman Cortes, the conquistador, after coming back from Mexico, presented the King of Spain with the cacao seeds from the Mayans and that started the popularity of chocolate in Europe.

Smart Ass 1: Why Cortes give King only chocolate?

Me: Maybe because the King likes chocolates?

Smart Ass 2: Kings don't like chocolates.

Me: How did you know that? Do you know any king who hates chocolate?

Smart Ass 2: No teacher. Do you?

Me: (Silently prayed, God grant me the serenity...)

Smart Ass 3: Why Cortes not give King gold?

Smart Ass 4: Yes, teacher. Why no necklace?

Smart Ass 5: I'm Cortes, I give King gold watch.

Me: (On the verge of hysteria) Perhaps Cortes also brought with him some gold and jewelries. But we are talking about the origin of chocolate here that's why the other gifts are not mentioned.

Smart Ass 6: Maybe Cortes is poor.

Me: Whatever! Can you guys just please google the answers to your other questions? That's your homework! (Continued her prayers)

I forgot, the smart-asses' parents personally requested ME to handle the Elite Class, as they don't trust the new teacher (whom they haven't even met yet).

Guess I have not much choice huh?

Monday, August 13, 2007

Teacher Wears That-Can't-Be-Named

Yesterday, I noticed the students fall into deathly mutterings whenever I write something on the whiteboard. The Elite class (they are smart-asses for a reason, believe me) are not usually like that : me turning around means the chance to check the celphones; another turn on the Rubik's cube; finish the homework, etcetera. However, for no particular reason at all, they were very animated with their convos. I caught glimpses of the murmurings.

She is not... She is!... Can you see it?... Can't!... Can you?... Gross!... Why don't you ask her?... I don't want to... You do it... Shhh... she's done writing...

*Silence*

Me: Okay, so what is going on here?

Sara: Teacher, Diane has a question.

(Because Diane is the youngest, she's always obliged to speak for the whole group, especially if it's one of them really important issues, that has to be discussed with Teacher.)

Me: Yes, Diane?

Diane: Teacher... teacher... you not angry?

Me: Why? What have you done this time?

Diane: Nothing!

Me: So what is the problem?

Diane: Teacher, you wearing white pants.

Me: Of course! It's summer!

Diane: But teacher you no panties!

At this point, I noticed everyone suppressing everything: from laughing to giggling to burfing to farting. Each was hanging on to what I was gonna say next.

Me: What? What did you say Diane?

Diane: You no panty?

Me: Of course I am wearing one but you can't see it because it's a thong!

Diane: What's a thong?

Me: You know, this is so absurd. Do you have any better questions Diane?

Diane: Teacher you sure you wear panty?

Me: (Already plotting a glamorous way of getting rid of this arrogant elf) Of course, I am! You want to see them?

Class: (Shrieking at the same time) Nooooooooooooo!!! Please, please teacher nooooo!!! She's so gross! Teacher's bad! Bad teacher!

Me: That's it! Diane, you stay after the class! I'm going to call your mom!

Diane: (Giving me her sweetest devil-ish grin) Teacher, you like chocolate? I give you Hersheys!

Of course, teacher was pacified and ate all Diane's Hersheys. Class was dismissed with them still wondering what a thong is. Poor little kids. I'm going to bring my green one to show them this Monday.

Yay!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

The Future Rock Star


Two nights ago while talking to the son, he suddenly said he's going to play something for me. He mentioned something like "I know these are some of your favorites".

I was very surprised to hear him strum "In The End" and "Faint"* by Linkin Park.

I almost choked in pride. Actually, I cried in the bus. When the son asked me if I like it, I told him that I love it soooo much. I imagined him grin from ear-to-ear, something he does when he's extremely pleased with himself.

I can not believe my ears that the ten year-old boy I left home three years ago, can now play something real other than the first few lines of REM's "The One I Love", which was a favorite when he was about five.

It's too bad that my celphone doesn't have a record feature. It would have been great to share with you guys the very reason why I am slaving myself away here in Korea.

He's growing up fast and I am missing terribly the important years of his life. But it's all worth it... we will be together soon and... I am going to be a future Rockstar Mom. That I am very sure.

*I searched in youtube a similar acoustic intro version of that song. More or less, the son played the intro part like this.

**Sniff**

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Why Am I The Deity?

Very interesting question, this new online friend asked me tonight. "Why did you name your blog, The Wandering Deity?"

When we were very young, Mother used to tell me and my siblings stories about Gods and Goddesses, who roam around the world, punishing little boys and girls whenever they deem necessary, or giving supernatural powers to those who take afternoon naps. I know by now, that it's my mother's twisted version of the Greek mythology.

Anyway, those stories awakened my interest in supernaturals and immortals at a very young age. Then it dawned on me one day, that perhaps I was a Deity in my first life, and/or destined to be one. Does that sound vague? Let me tell you this.

When I was a little girl (five or six I think, not sure anymore), I wanted to be a singer. I always sang along to any Carpenter's songs, but mother was quick enough to point out that I sang out of tune, she being, my number one critic since the day I was born.

But you see, I was never that type of person who gives up easily.

In fifth grade, a wonderful opportunity came. A classmate invited me and other friends to join the church choir. She thought that because I have such a high-pitched voice, I'd be good for the alto part. I thought of it as my chance to finally shine. I remember looking forward to each choir rehearsal and the day that I'd be singing "The Messiah" like an angel.

However, after two weeks of singing in the church, I was told by the choir vocal teacher that I needed to practice more and that I could only sing if there's an absentee member... which never happened.

My dream of a singing career died that day.

Imagine how cool would it be, if anyone did encourage my singing talent. People would be calling me Pop Deity by now. How mesmerizing it would be to see a giant billboard poster, with neon lights glowing underneath the print, "The Rock Deity In Concert" . Coolness no?!

Forgetting my singing career, I focused on becoming a nun.

Practicing my act as a holy apparition one day, mother pleasantly disclosed that "malditas" (Filipino for bad little girls) will never be a nun. That was the second time she killed my future*.

I thought it would be overwhelming to hear people calling me "Sister Deity" or "Mother Deity Superior" someday. Then when I die and become a saint, people would be praying to my pagan statue, where under my perfectly sculpted feet, Saint Mary Deity, is engraved.

I dismissed the dream of becoming St. Mary Deity. And I certainly don't have any passion for it anymore. I am too old to be a novice. I don't think I'd like donning a habit anyway. It's so monotonous. And I have to wear the same outfit everyday, for the rest of my life? I'd die of boredom, am pretty sure. Also, I don't think the mother superiors would like it that I call my rosary, bling-bling. "Sister, have you seen my bling-bling? I left it on the altar."

Having my dreams castrated at an early age, I was almost willing to give up on my Deity identity pursuit.

As fate would have it, came this chance to write for an ESL Teachers' website. I needed an alias and friend O, thought Wandering Deity fits me like a glove since I am known among friends to possess a "wandering brain" (lutang na utak)-- always bored, never focusing/settling on one thing, forever trekking to that Never Heard of Land, where Deities like me roam around freely without being regarded as an escapee from a mental asylum.

Naturalmente, when I started this blog on the 2nd of February 2005, I used the same monicker. And let it be known that I am going to be The Deity till the day I cease to exist... online.

Anyone got a problem with that, now is the time to speak!

========== 000 =========

*In fairness to mother, she was the one who insisted that I take BSEducation back in college, which, needless to say, is my bread and butter these days. See? Mother knows best... but she is yet to find out that I call myself the Wandering Deity. Ha!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I Did Something Bad Today

I was getting late earlier and I have no time to iron my dress, so I decided to hang it inside the bathroom to steam it. I turned the shower on, closed the door and went to prepare my breakfast.

After breakfast, I realized it's almost time to take a bath. When I opened the door, a great cloud of steam came out. I saw my dress' creases disappeared like it was ironed. Ha! Great. I prepared the rest of my outfit and was laying them on the bed, when the fire alarm blasted. The steam coming out of the toilet activated the smoke detector.medium_fire.JPG

Panicking, I opened the windows to let the steam out, totally ignoring the freezing weather outside. The alarm kept ringing. The noise was defeaning so I opened the main door and saw that the rest of my neighbors were hurrying out of their rooms. I knew that I was the culprit but I ran out with my co-tenants downstairs. Should I remain in my room and evoke suspicion? Nah! I watch too many CSI shows you know.

Everyone was wondering what could have triggered the alarm. Of course, dare I admit it? I acted as though I knew nothing. And since am the hooligan who started the chaos, I kept to myself and prayed that the alarm would stop. I was already running late, not to mention, scared to my balls that the landlord would arrive soon to check on us.

I showered in record time, dressed up and hurried to school.

As I was starting my first class, the landlord called. Because am really guilty, I could not bring myself to fully comprehend what he's saying. I told him to call my friend, whom I already confessed to the little crime I did on the way to school (and I am pretty sure my friend will never tell on me). Apparently, the landlord was only wanting permission to get inside my room to check the alarm. As there was really no fire, he wondered obsessively what could have started the early morning hullabaloo.

I swear, I will never steam my dress again. Ever.

On second thought, I will remind myself to ducktape the smoke detector. Yay!!!